I got to spend more time in my garden lately. I lost a loved one and because of the COVD-19 social distancing and travel restrictions, I wasn’t able to say goodbye the way I needed to. I couldn’t travel to Germany to attend the funeral and this left me numb and sad. Although there’s no timetable for grief and the process can last long, gardening and plants help me work through this. If you are on the path to healing or if you feel grief for someone or something you lost (many of us feel some sort of loss because of the pandemic and the changes it brings to our lives) turn to your plants, turn to your flowers.

Old English Rose - Photo by Pratik Gupta — Old English Rose - Photo by Pratik Gupta

You can choose plants and flowers in memory of what or who you lost and create your own healing garden. I have a similar place in my garden under a huge hazel tree, enclosed by bamboo. This is where my cat is buried and where I will dedicate more space for the loved one I recently lost.

Which plants could help you process grief?

White Rose (Rosa ‘Desdemona). The Old English Rose bred by the famous David Austin, who bred more than 200 varieties throughout the years. This beautiful bush shrub rose with its pastel shades is all about grace and scent. It will awaken your senses and help you relax giving your garden a very old-fashioned and yet alluring feel. What you have to remember is that the White Rose needs well-drained moist soil and can grow alone in a container or big pot but also close to the front, or in the middle of borders. It’s very fragrant with strong blooming and a long flower season.

Weeping Willow (Salix Alba 'Tristis'). If you have space, if you have a big enough garden the Weeping Willow is awe-inspiring. Its graceful wigs that hang down towards the ground, make a dramatic impression. This tree has light-green/silver leaves and tiny white/yellow flowers. It blooms in the spring and keeps its leaves till the end of autumn. Moist soil will make this tree thrive. It’s ideal next to the water, pods, or streams not only because it’s very tolerant to wet conditions but also because of the dramatic water reflection effect that it offers. Easy to care and to grow, it will definitely help you gain perspective.
Bleeding Heart (Dicentra spectabilis 'Alba'). Bleeding hearts, the white, puffy, and heart-shaped flowers have an old-fashioned feel being the classic flowers they are. Beautiful to look at they brighten up dark areas and they are a stunning addition to every garden. They also make beautiful bouquets that can last long. They need moist and rich soil, and some protection when under a hot sun. In cool climates and if well-watered you could extend their blooming time all the way through early summer.
Forget-me-not (Brunnera macrophylla). This clusters of light blue with a yellow center forget-me-not flowers are very pretty. Absolutely gorgeous with their attractive foliage they can give you a refreshing feeling. They don’t do that well on dry soil but they love catching some sun rays. They are also a good choice for containers and they are low maintenance. They bloom for almost two months but their heart-shaped leaves can stay green all summer. The perfect flowers for you to add to your garden for an instant pick-me-up.

White Lily (Lillium candidum). A pristine and sweet-scented flower, with a rich history. White Lilies, called also the Madonna lilies, were considered a symbol of purity, a symbol of Christianity and the Virgin Mary. In ancient myths, they are symbols of rebirth and new beginnings. Best planted in early spring or autumn, White Lilies, are ideal for garden borders. They grow taller and stronger every year, a good reminder that life goes on. They prefer warmer climates and moist soil but in general, they thrive everywhere if you just keep them protected from the wind.
Mourning Widow (Geranium phaeum 'Mourning Widow). Excellent perennial ideal for a shaded or sheltered spot in a garden. The dramatic purple flowers and deep green foliage of Mourning Widows make them a lovely addition to your garden. If you are working on your garden sanctuary and you have a small garden, Mourning Widows are a great choice. They are not flashy but with their rich foliage and their flowers that attract butterflies, they can offer you a grounding sensation. All they need is shade and moist soil.
Fairy Wings (Epimedium 'Niveum'). Another perennial, a gorgeous evergreen that creates an eye-catching effect. The Fairy Wings are highly adaptable and their leaves stay lush sometimes almost throughout the year. They love shadow and can tolerate dry soil. Its heart-shaped foliage and bell-shaped flowers can teach us calmness and resilience at the same time.

All of the above plants are perfect for any garden (besides the Weeping Willow tree that needs enough space) and they might help you process your grief or any feeling of sadness. They might help you gain perspective or help you relax by simply smelling their lovely scents. Gardening, plants, this connection with nature can offer you hours of mindfulness and grounding. If you need help with creating a garden that will become your healing sanctuary, don’t hesitate to contact Botaniq for a consultation!

Content Editor Sofia Simeonidou

7 Plants and Flowers to Help You Cope With Grief and Loss

Which plants could help you process grief?